Heart on My Sleeve

I can't go on like this! Wah! When I can't haul myself out of a chair or up the stairs without hurting, it's time to change. I packed up the dancing daughter and took us back to Weight Watchers today. We hadn't been but maybe once in the past three months (what a waste of an auto-bill membership!). At least their scale was more friendly than mine.

Now I have to face reality. I can't founder daily and expect to live a quality life.... or live, period. The problem is, After 51 years of stuffing myself and failing at changing that lifestyle, why do I think I can do it now?

I don't know. I just have to!

I remember when I was little, I would sneak a stick of butter out of the kitchen and eat it.

My dad would eat ice cream straight from the carton. My mom wouldn't let the kids do that. When I grew up and moved away, I used to eat a half gallon of ice cream, straight from the carton, for dinner once a week. I felt so grown up.

My mom wouldn't often buy snack foods. The rare bag of Doritos that came into the house would haunt me. I'd sneak into the kitchen and snag a few from the bag. After I got my own place, I would eat a bag of Doritos and a jar of picante sauce for breakfast. Oh, yeah, Mom didn't like Pepsi, so I'd chase the Doritos and picante sauce with a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi.

Last week, while in a long and brain-numbing meeting with The Boss, Boss calls out to the assistant in the other room, "Call the store and have them bring over some snacks." (Boss owns the store.) Half-hour later, in comes the gal with a grocery bag brimming with a generous selection of chips and dips. Oh, my gosh! Just put a gun to my head, why dontcha!

I've apparently instilled my bad habits in my son. At age 27, he's morbidly obese. He didn't leave my house that way; he did it all on his own after he moved out. I wonder how often he eats Doritos and picante sauce for breakfast. The difference is, he chases it with Dr. Pepper. His wife is none too twiggy, either.

Thank goodness the daughter recognizes the problem. She realizes that food is not her friend, even though she loves it as much as I do.

I've got some serious eating issues here. I live to eat.